St. Kilda & Lorne, or City vs. Country

"You can only visit paradise" is a constantly used phrase in the Turks and Caicos Islands. Eventually, no matter how exotic your location, you settle into a routine. Outlandish things become commonplace. Strange things become familiar. You pay taxes. Same old, same old.

In Geelong there are malls and shopping centers, restaurants and bars, parks and museums. I could be absolutely anywhere in the world. I like Geelong. It's the second largest city in Victoria and it has anything you might want (except good food, the locals tell me), but I didn't come to Australia to see more of the same.

Not that it stops me from exploring the urban neighborhoods. St. Kilda, in Melbourne, has a lot of character, but - according to my guide - offers tourists only small strips of beaches and one shopping street. Granted, that street is packed with famous pastry and ice cream shops one after the other. I picked one based on the superior looking treats in the window and spent the next 30 minutes indulging an awesomely sickening sugar coma. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Fancy looking coffee, chocolate tower, brandy snap, and vanilla slice from The Acland Cake Shop. Too many treats for just two people, don't you think? So good though.

But still, all this cute charm and trendy atmosphere is reproduced in Boston, New York City, Paris, Venice, Vienna, St. Tropez, even Hoboken. Take your pick.

Now the country... that's different. Unfamiliar. Awesome. Traveling along the Murray the other week we passed through literally one-horse towns where the "downtown" consisted of a meeting hall next to a church. Neighbors were separated by hectares and houses depend on water catchment. Now that sort of living has the ring of a proper Aussie adventure. Not that I'm looking to join in. Living in the TCI seems like a walk in the park compared to how those brave souls live - especially suffering through the current floods that are following on the tail of a 7-year drought. Eesh.

The towns along the coast offer more friendly living conditions and better beach access, but are still small. As in tiny. I'm sure Torquay has a brilliant night life, but I didn't see much else to recommend it to non-surfers. Lorne, however, is my new Jersey shore. It's nestled between gum tree and rock-strewn hills and a generous beach (when the tide is out). I was told it's known as the "yuppy" part of the coast and it has the beautiful people and roof-top bar to prove it.

And the beaches were great! The turquoise blue waters shimmered in the late afternoon sun. I paused for a second and took a deep breath - Ahhhhh, now this is the Australia I'm looking for.

Down by the waterfront, and atrociously overpriced, seafood restaurant you can take a walk to the end of the pier and watch the fishermen disappointingly pull up squid. Staring into the waters below you can follow the sting rays tracing circles under your feet. Snorkel gear just moved up my list of necessary purchases (again).

So there you have it: access to swimming, snorkling, and alcohol. Now doesn't that seem like a perfect vacation spot?